1 00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:07,048 - The building's custodian is on vacation for the month, 2 00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:09,300 and Dwight is too cheap to hire a replacement. 3 00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:11,302 So instead, we're living in filth, 4 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:15,056 But not for long, because I have created... 5 00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:16,433 the chore wheel. 6 00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:19,561 - Ho-ho, yeah. Can I spin first? 7 00:00:19,644 --> 00:00:20,937 - Well, it doesn't spin. 8 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:23,481 We'll just move the wheel one notch each morning, 9 00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,942 and you see what chore you get that day. 10 00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:27,485 - A wheel is supposed to spin. 11 00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:28,737 - Yeah, you know, like... 12 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:31,031 [imitates spinner clicking] 13 00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:32,365 - No, I'm familiar with spinning. 14 00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,034 It's just that wouldn't work with the chore wheel 15 00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:36,077 because people might get the same chore. 16 00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:39,164 - Yuck. Boring. All she talks about is chores. 17 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:40,498 - A wheel wants to spin, Pam. 18 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,586 - Spinning would be more fun. 19 00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:49,924 - [exhales] Okay. 20 00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:52,260 - Okay, that's what I'm talkin' about. 21 00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:53,720 [cheers and applause] 22 00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,722 - Spinning! - Big money, big money. 23 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:56,973 - Oh! 24 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,725 - Yeah! 25 00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,310 - Mug duty? 26 00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:03,146 - Yes. You clean all the mugs in the sink. 27 00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:04,689 - This sucks. 28 00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:05,774 - Yeah, seriously. 29 00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:07,567 It's like everything on there's work. 30 00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:08,610 - I don't think you guys understand 31 00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:09,903 why we're doing this. 32 00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:11,321 It's-- - Yeah. 33 00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,865 And I don't think that you understand wheels. 34 00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:15,533 - [sighs] 35 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:16,951 - I've been through 36 00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,620 several rounds of development with the team, 37 00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:21,039 and here's where we stand with the chore wheel. 38 00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,292 We've got prizes. 39 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:26,086 Ten bucks, candy bar, 40 00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:27,754 manager for an hour. - Whee! 41 00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,881 - But there are also penalties 42 00:01:29,964 --> 00:01:32,967 like no internet, Stanley gets your lunch. 43 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,804 The one thing that is not on the chore wheel is chores, 44 00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:36,930 but they were right. 45 00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:38,431 It's more fun this way. 46 00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:41,351 all: Oh! 47 00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:43,603 [cheers and applause] 48 00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:44,896 - Tiny wheel! 49 00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:47,107 all: Tiny wheel! Tiny wheel! Tiny wheel! 50 00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:48,566 - There it is! all: Tiny wheel! 51 00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:51,444 - The tiny wheel actually does have chores. 52 00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:53,405 It's so cute, no one seems to mind. 53 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:54,489 Toilets! - Aw. 54 00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:56,491 [all cheer] - Tiny wheel. 55 00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:57,575 [applause] 56 00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:59,577 - [laughing] Tiny wheel. - Lucky! 57 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:01,079 Good choice. - Whoo! 58 00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:04,082 {\an8}[upbeat music] 59 00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:11,172 {\an8}? ? 60 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,102 {\an8}- Pam, we gotta go! 61 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,395 {\an8}Cece, go back inside. 62 00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:26,688 {\an8}Grandma's got breakfast, okay? 63 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,776 {\an8}We are going to Roy's wedding. 64 00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,194 {\an8}Yep, Roy. 65 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:34,779 {\an8}I think the only weird thing 66 00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:36,531 {\an8}about going to your wife's ex-fianc�e's wedding 67 00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:38,742 {\an8}on a weekday at 8 a.m. 68 00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:39,993 {\an8}is that it's your wife's ex-fianc�e. 69 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:41,202 {\an8}- Thanks, Mom! 70 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,040 {\an8}- Banana? - Yeah. 71 00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:46,249 {\an8}I'm afraid he's only gonna have hot dogs. 72 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,584 {\an8}- Oh, come on. 73 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,419 {\an8}Not even Roy will have hot dogs at his wedding. 74 00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:51,379 {\an8}- Planned a wedding with him. He wanted hot dogs. 75 00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,133 {\an8}- Just--it's still weird. 76 00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,137 {\an8}- Oh, Pete, you've got mail. 77 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,555 {\an8}- Really? I got somethin'? 78 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:01,973 {\an8}- Well, it's addressed to customer service, 79 00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:03,433 {\an8}so it's your mail. 80 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,060 {\an8}- Well, you know, I'm also customer service. 81 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,269 {\an8}- Yeah, I'm alternating. 82 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,520 {\an8}- Yay. 83 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,064 {\an8}Another person yellin' at me. 84 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,899 {\an8}- Well, it could be a nice letter. 85 00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:12,776 {\an8}I write nice letters to companies all the time. 86 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,486 {\an8}- That's really nice. 87 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:17,405 {\an8}- Wow. "Newsweek," huh? 88 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:20,575 {\an8}This election thing is crazy, right? 89 00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:22,452 {\an8}- It's open. 90 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:23,912 {\an8}- Oh, yeah. I accidentally read it. 91 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,830 {\an8}It's not a nice letter. 92 00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:27,582 {\an8}- Okay. 93 00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:32,003 {\an8}- Do you think she's quirky and likeable in bed? 94 00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:34,339 {\an8}It's a carry-over? 95 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:35,256 {\an8}- [sighs] - [chuckles] 96 00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:41,429 {\an8}- Get excited. 97 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:44,474 {\an8}The special projects fairy has arrived. 98 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,935 {\an8}- I know you don't really exist. 99 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,270 {\an8}- Today, I launch my big charity initiative, 100 00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:51,356 {\an8}Operation Giveback. 101 00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:54,317 {\an8}Andy has shot down all of my special projects thus far, 102 00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:57,112 {\an8}but this one is about charity 103 00:03:57,153 --> 00:04:00,156 {\an8}so I'd like to see him piss on that one. 104 00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:03,326 {\an8}[indistinct chatter] 105 00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:04,619 {\an8}- Darryl! 106 00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,496 {\an8}[laughs] What's happenin'? - Hey. 107 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:08,373 {\an8}Congratulations, baby. Yeah. - Oh, thank you. 108 00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:09,541 {\an8}Hey, hey. 109 00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:12,711 {\an8}Coconut shrimp. [laughter] 110 00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:13,628 {\an8}I told you I'd have it. 111 00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:15,088 {\an8}- Yeah, you did. 112 00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:17,257 {\an8}- Mm-hmm. - Oh, you have arrived, sir. 113 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,217 {\an8}- Well, thank you, thank you. - Well done, well done. 114 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,803 {\an8}Roy and I used to work together downstairs in the warehouse. 115 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,180 {\an8}He used to be engaged to Pam, but then she tossed him aside 116 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:27,976 {\an8}like a cold-hearted bitch. 117 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,519 {\an8}Is what I believed back then. 118 00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:30,979 {\an8}Now that I work upstairs with Pam, 119 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:35,066 {\an8}I understand that A, the heart wants what it wants, 120 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:39,529 {\an8}and B, Roy thinks dinner magically appears on the table. 121 00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:41,531 {\an8}Someone has to make that. 122 00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:44,617 [birds singing] 123 00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:46,745 - Is this his house? - Think so. 124 00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:48,997 - Mimosa? 125 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,082 - I'm okay. - Thank you. 126 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:54,419 - Would you like me to take your peel? 127 00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:56,171 - Yes, thank you. 128 00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:04,262 [Pam sighs] - Okay. 129 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,223 [phone rings] 130 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,641 - Who's that? 131 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:10,810 - Uh, my ex-fianc�e. 132 00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:12,354 - Ha-ha. 133 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,856 - I started a new business with my college friend, 134 00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:16,399 but Pam doesn't know. 135 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,360 Um... 136 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:22,614 actually I--I did tell Pam, and we decided no. 137 00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:24,783 But then I decided yes anyway, 138 00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:27,827 so I'm thinking there's another conversation coming, 139 00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:30,121 and it's hard to know when that will be. 140 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,415 - With Operation Giveback 141 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:35,043 you pick the charities Dunder Mifflin supports. 142 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,711 - Oh, boy. 143 00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:38,129 What's happening? 144 00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:39,923 - There's $4,000 to give away, 145 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,050 so who has filled out their forms? 146 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,218 Stanley? 147 00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:45,011 - American Diabetes Association. 148 00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:46,096 - Um... - Yeah. 149 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,972 - You have diabetes, Stanley. 150 00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:51,226 I'm sorry, is the assignment to pick a selfish charity? 151 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:54,813 Like, does Oscar get to fund some gay Mexican thing? 152 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,648 - Las Feliz Maracas. 153 00:05:56,690 --> 00:06:00,026 They do very important work for the homospanic community. 154 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:02,195 S�, podemos. [imitates maracas]. 155 00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:04,572 - I, uh, I would love to give-- 156 00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:06,074 - Heifers International. 157 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,575 Listen to this. 158 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:10,453 They give a poor person, like, a goat or something. 159 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,247 It's a great prank. 160 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,790 - I wanna work with, uh, Jimmy Carter 161 00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:15,125 and help build gnomes. 162 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,668 - Dwight, what about you? 163 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:17,961 - I will not be participating, 164 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,255 as there is no evidence that charity works. 165 00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:21,423 - Uh, correction. 166 00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:22,841 I give to a foundation 167 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:26,136 that teaches homeless children nautical flag signaling. 168 00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:27,345 Changes lives. 169 00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:28,763 - Thank you, Andy. 170 00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:30,140 - I'm not doing it for you, I'm doing it 171 00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:32,642 for the preservation of nautical flag signaling. 172 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,728 - Dwight, you will be participating. 173 00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:36,021 - No, thank you. 174 00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:37,355 - Participation is mandatory, Dwight, 175 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:40,817 but you can choose whatever cause you like. 176 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:44,112 - Fine, I choose the Global Relief Foundation. 177 00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:45,488 - Great. 178 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:46,573 Thank you-- - Which was recently discovered 179 00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:48,700 to be a front for the Taliban! 180 00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:50,452 - Oh, for goodness' sake, Dwight. 181 00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:53,913 - Yeah. The Taliban in Af-a-ghanistan. 182 00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:56,249 - The Taliban is the worst. 183 00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,544 Great heroin, though. 184 00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:02,589 - Making someone pick a charity by force is more un-American 185 00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:05,342 than any militant movement that seeks to destroy our country. 186 00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:07,927 - Really? Really, Dwight? 187 00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:10,805 - Dwight, I cannot have the Taliban on the roster 188 00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:12,265 of Operation Giveback. 189 00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:13,683 - Well, then, it looks like 190 00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:15,727 there won't be any Operation Giveback. [chuckles] 191 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,312 The nanny state is over, ladies and gentlemen. 192 00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:18,730 You're welcome. 193 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,737 - Well, there are a lot of charities out there 194 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:29,866 for the charismatic animals-- your pandas, your polar bears. 195 00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:31,618 You know, the big shots. 196 00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:35,163 But what about the more inconspicuous creatures 197 00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:37,582 like moths? 198 00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:41,795 Someday, the moths are gonna surprise us all. 199 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:43,797 [indistinct chatter] 200 00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,924 - There he is. 201 00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:47,592 Is it almost time to cut the pancake, or what? 202 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:48,968 - Aw. [chuckles] Yeah. 203 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,554 We appreciate everyone coming so early. 204 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,264 Everyone's just been so nice. 205 00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:54,599 - Thanks for inviting us, by the way. 206 00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:55,850 That was--that was a surprise. - Are you kidding me? 207 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,394 - Come on. 208 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,020 If it wasn't for you, I never would've met Laura. 209 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,398 But seriously, could've dodged a bullet on that one. 210 00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:02,565 Just kidding. - You're welcome. 211 00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,317 - Thanks. 212 00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:05,527 [Roy sighs] 213 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:08,321 - By the way, man, this place is beautiful. 214 00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:09,864 - Started a gravel company. 215 00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,491 I mean, who knew it would take off? 216 00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:13,284 - Gravel company. - Yeah. 217 00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:14,411 - What about you? - What are you doing? 218 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,996 - Not gravel, obviously. - [chuckles] 219 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,206 - Nah, things are good. Things are good. 220 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,916 Got some stuff in the works, so... 221 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,710 - Oh, cool. - Yeah, you never know. 222 00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:24,879 - Hey, bro, stop wasting time with this haircut. 223 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,424 He's got a $50,000 sports car. 224 00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,217 - Cheers. - Yeah. Okay, Kenny. 225 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:30,927 - We just love Laura. 226 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,722 I couldn't imagine a better daughter-in-law. 227 00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:35,890 - It's great to see Roy so happy. 228 00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,934 - Oh, he's the happiest he's ever been. 229 00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:39,561 - How wonderful. 230 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,022 - Laura's really easy to get along with. 231 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,815 And she's loyal. 232 00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:46,234 Which is what I think Roy needs. 233 00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:47,318 - Oh. 234 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,653 - Nice to see you again, Pam. 235 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:49,654 - [chuckling] Yes. 236 00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,489 - Be well. 237 00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:53,616 - Duncan, listen, I would love to help you out, 238 00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,326 but where am I gonna find somebody that's pretty, 239 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,287 smart, and well-informed, huh? 240 00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:58,997 Hold on--hold on! 241 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,499 Erin, do you know anybody that might-- 242 00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:07,172 Oh, my gosh. 243 00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,798 You love the news, right? 244 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,383 - Well, it depends. 245 00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:13,678 I mean, sometimes I find out things that are really sad. 246 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:14,721 - Well, I got a buddy 247 00:09:14,763 --> 00:09:16,514 that's a big-time local news producer, 248 00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:19,309 and I can't tell you his name, but it'd blow your mind. 249 00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,852 - Uh, is it Duncan? 250 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,479 - He's looking for on-air talent, 251 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,522 and he'd kill me if I didn't get you on tape. 252 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,399 - You mean put me on the news? 253 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,568 - You'll just come over, put on a little lipstick, 254 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,111 loosen up with a glass of red wine, 255 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:32,572 and then we'll just run through a few stories. 256 00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:33,948 You know, couple different ways 257 00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:34,824 with a couple different outfits. 258 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,117 It'd be really tasteful, 259 00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:38,286 and it'd really help me out with Dunc-- 260 00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:40,497 with my friend. 261 00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,290 What'd you say? Eh? 262 00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:44,376 - No, maybe, okay? Let me think about it. 263 00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:45,877 - Okay. 264 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:46,795 - Whoo. 265 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:47,921 - Think it over. 266 00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:55,720 - Sure, the local news, touring company of "Wicked," 267 00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,430 lingerie football league. 268 00:09:57,514 --> 00:10:02,227 Uh, "Guinness Book of World Records" for best orgasm. 269 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:04,938 Yeah, my friend Duncan is in charge of a lot of stuff. 270 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,398 - No, Clark's not my friend. 271 00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:08,942 He is the douche that sits next to me at the office. 272 00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:11,194 My friends are Scott, Glenn and Rob, 273 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,154 but you don't know them. 274 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,698 - I never really thought much 275 00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:17,492 about being more than a receptionist, but why? 276 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,494 Because I happened to answer a help wanted ad 277 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,829 to be a receptionist? 278 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:24,249 I mean, what if the ad had been for a CEO 279 00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,167 or for a brain surgeon? 280 00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,169 - So, uh, it was a year ago today 281 00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:30,588 that I met Laura. 282 00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,215 I thought she was my waitress, 283 00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,591 and, uh--[chuckles] 284 00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:34,634 Took her three weeks to tell me 285 00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:36,428 that she actually owned the place. 286 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,054 You are full of surprises. 287 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:41,141 You are my beautiful mystery girl, 288 00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:43,893 and today, I have a surprise for you. 289 00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:46,271 [clears throat] 290 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:47,814 - He plays piano? 291 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:48,982 - No. 292 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,900 Roy? No. 293 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,319 - You know how I said I was taking boxing lessons? 294 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,155 Actually, I was doing this. 295 00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:57,949 Um, so I hope that you like it. 296 00:10:58,033 --> 00:11:00,243 [clears throat] 297 00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,537 - You got this, Roy. - Mm-hmm! 298 00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:05,999 [Billy Joel's "She's Got A Way"] 299 00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:09,544 - ? She's got a way about her ? 300 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,629 ? ? 301 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,257 ? Don't know what it is ? 302 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:18,803 ? But I know that I can't live without her ? 303 00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:20,305 ? she's got a way-- ? 304 00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:24,434 - We still surprise each other. 305 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,643 - Definitely. 306 00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:30,357 - You know, I never did it, but for your 30th birthday, 307 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,150 I really wanted to surprise you. 308 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,235 - Courtside seats. Sixers. 309 00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:35,820 - Yes. 310 00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:36,988 But what I didn't tell you 311 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,698 is that I actually bought the tickets. 312 00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:39,949 We only didn't go because it was-- 313 00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:42,243 - It was an away game. - In Phoenix. 314 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:43,912 They should really tell you that more specifically. 315 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,455 I mean, every game is an away game 316 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,207 for one of the teams. 317 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,545 Do we know everything about each other? 318 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:53,755 - No. 319 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,549 - Tell me one thing about you I don't know. 320 00:11:56,675 --> 00:11:58,468 - [chuckles] 321 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,054 Um, okay. 322 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,228 - Now, what was your charity again? 323 00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:10,605 Something about putting an antique steam engine 324 00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:12,232 back on the tracks? 325 00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:13,274 - Nice try. 326 00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:14,567 It was the Taliban. 327 00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:16,569 - Dwight, are you entirely clear 328 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:19,239 on what you are supporting? 329 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,408 - Nellie, are you entirely clear 330 00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:22,575 on what you are undermining? 331 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,244 Freedom. 332 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:27,997 - Under the Taliban's sharia law, drinkers are whipped. 333 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,207 - [gasps softly] 334 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,001 - Thieves have a hand cut off. 335 00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:32,544 - [gasps softly] 336 00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,504 - And the punishment for losing your faith is death. 337 00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:35,797 - If they leave your family alive, 338 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,132 it's not a real punishment. 339 00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:42,762 - And the way they treat women, it's bizarre. 340 00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:45,056 - Oh, that's a crime. That's terrible. 341 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,391 - Yeah. 342 00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:47,517 - I feel horrible about that. - Mm. 343 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,603 Giving them free motorcycles. 344 00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:51,855 - Wait, what? 345 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,023 - Yes, that's right. 346 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,524 Under Taliban rule, every woman 347 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:58,653 gets a new motorcycle every two years and a free service. 348 00:12:58,778 --> 00:12:59,904 - Well, that's not fair. 349 00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:02,240 - Tell it to the Taliban. 350 00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:05,744 And they're first in line for the space program. 351 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,120 - Women can't be going into-- 352 00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:08,913 - [sighs] Welcome to the Taliban. 353 00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:10,707 - That is really-- 354 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,083 oh, well played. 355 00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:13,418 I see what you're trying to do. 356 00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:14,627 You're trying to get me mad at the Taliban. 357 00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:17,130 Well, it won't work. 358 00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:22,719 - Oh, here's one. 359 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,054 Did I ever tell you about the time 360 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,431 that my brothers videotaped the lottery announcement 361 00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:28,725 and bought the winning numbers the next day, 362 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,061 and then played the tape for me the next week-- 363 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,187 - And you thought you guys were millionaires. 364 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:33,438 - You heard that one. 365 00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:35,732 - Yes, but there's--wait. Oh! 366 00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:37,192 There's a funny ending to that story. 367 00:13:37,359 --> 00:13:38,902 I can't remember. 368 00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:40,362 - That I thought we were millionaires. 369 00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:41,279 - That you thought you were millionaires. 370 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,572 - Yep. - That's funny. 371 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:43,865 Shoot, I knew that one! - That's all right. 372 00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:46,826 - The senator and I still have mystery. 373 00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:48,203 I'm always waiting to see 374 00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:49,621 what he's gonna surprise me with next. 375 00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:50,872 - [spits] 376 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,708 [Oscar coughs] 377 00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:55,669 [Oscar groans] 378 00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:58,254 [Oscar coughs] 379 00:13:58,296 --> 00:13:59,631 - You all right? 380 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,302 - You support the Taliban abroad, 381 00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:06,971 so I assume you're willing to live by their rules here. 382 00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:10,600 - Anything else would be inconsistent. 383 00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,560 - Will you join me then in a pledge 384 00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:15,814 to live by Taliban law in this office? 385 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:21,361 - Absolutely, I will. 386 00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:29,536 I feared Nellie had some sort of a plan, 387 00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,538 but she used a ridiculous font. 388 00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,123 [scoffs] 389 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,333 [bad British accent] You don't have a plan. 390 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,002 - When you use a ridiculous font, 391 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:38,920 no one thinks you have a plan. 392 00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:43,341 Looking for this? 393 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,845 - What the-- - Mm, mm. 394 00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,055 Oh, this is a lovely pen. [gasps softly] 395 00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:51,224 And it's mine now because I stole it. 396 00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:52,726 - Gimme that. 397 00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:56,021 - Didn't you sign a contract to live under Taliban law? 398 00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,564 And now there's been a theft. 399 00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:59,607 That means you're not serious, 400 00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:02,944 or someone's getting their hand cut off. 401 00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:04,154 - You're insane. 402 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,530 - I know. 403 00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,157 So it's better that you pick another charity. 404 00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:09,534 - Oh, and let your precious Operation Power Grab 405 00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:10,744 proceed unchecked? 406 00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:11,828 No, thank you. 407 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,789 - In that case, you... 408 00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:16,291 [metallic scrape] 409 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:19,419 Will have to chop off my hand. 410 00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:26,343 - This cleaver appears to need sharpening. 411 00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:28,303 I suggest you spend some quality time together, 412 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:29,387 just you and your hand. 413 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,306 Tie a shoe, toss a salad, 414 00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:32,891 do any of the two-hand activities 415 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,267 that you'll miss the most. 416 00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:37,354 - I tell you what. I need to make three calls. 417 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,857 And then after that, you can become a person 418 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,151 who chops off people's hands. 419 00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:44,986 - Sounds like a plan. 420 00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:48,406 - Clark wants to film you in different outfits 421 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,033 inside his apartment? 422 00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:51,493 - Yeah. 423 00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,286 - Clark, you and I need to have a little chat. 424 00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:59,084 What clothes does Erin need for this news audition? 425 00:16:01,336 --> 00:16:04,589 - Uh, a couple of button-downs, 426 00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:07,759 a camisole, a blazer, a pencil skirt, 427 00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:09,719 stilettos, maybe a-- - All right. 428 00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:12,347 - No, no, not maybe, definitely open-toed. 429 00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,766 Uh, something low-cut, because the camera 430 00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:16,226 makes everything seem higher-cut. 431 00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:18,103 - Really? - Yeah, industry secret. 432 00:16:18,228 --> 00:16:19,854 You're gonna want some of those pantyhose 433 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:20,855 with the seam up the back. 434 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,691 - Seems unnecessary for an audition. 435 00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,651 - And then, you know, maybe just a robe to wear 436 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:26,611 in between takes, but I probably got one 437 00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:28,363 that she could borrow at my place, so-- 438 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,032 - Thank God someone here knows what they're talkin' about. 439 00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:32,409 I want you to take this credit card. 440 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:35,662 Take Erin to the mall and get that stuff. 441 00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:37,414 - I absolutely will do that. 442 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,749 - Dating a news anchor is, like, my fantasy. 443 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,543 I've often wished I was a girl 444 00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,378 so I could date Anderson Cooper. 445 00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:44,337 [chuckles] 446 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,214 Awesome. 447 00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,215 Plop. 448 00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:49,968 - [sputters] 449 00:16:50,093 --> 00:16:54,055 Guess I'll just head over to the mall then. 450 00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:57,225 Buy Erin some-- some sexy, fun outfits. 451 00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,185 - Maybe there are bigger things out there for me 452 00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:00,812 than receptionist. 453 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,939 And I owe it all to Clark, 454 00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,442 who I thought at first was a little sleazy, 455 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,111 but I now realize is just one of those people 456 00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:11,114 who stares at your chest to know what's in your heart. 457 00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:12,657 His words, not mine. 458 00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,534 - That Clark, huh? 459 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:15,827 [growls] 460 00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:17,037 [mimics explosion] 461 00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,872 - Next question for our oldyweds. 462 00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:21,082 - What is the craziest place you ever made whoopee? 463 00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:22,417 - Language. 464 00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:23,877 - Who was Pam's first celebrity crush? 465 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:27,756 - Oh, this is good, okay. - Pam's first celebrity crush. 466 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,215 - [whispering] John Stamos. 467 00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:30,717 - Ready? - Uh-huh. 468 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,719 - John Stamos. - Oh, yes! 469 00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:34,304 - But John Stamos was temporary. 470 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,347 I quickly moved on to Johnny-- - Johnny Depp. 471 00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:36,431 - Depp. 472 00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:41,811 [chuckles softly] 473 00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,396 Uh, um, 474 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,274 I was having a separate conversation with, um, Kevin? 475 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,652 Uh, Johnny Depp. 476 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,654 - Totally. George Clooney. [phone rings] 477 00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:53,114 - Mm-hmm. 478 00:17:53,198 --> 00:17:54,157 - Okay, I'll have one. I have one. 479 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,700 [overlapping chatter] 480 00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:57,452 - Where is the craziest place you ever made whoopee? 481 00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:58,620 - Hey. 482 00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,663 - Kevin, stop it with that question. 483 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,749 - Right? 484 00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:05,085 And did you show them the market--yeah. 485 00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:08,380 And what'd they say? 486 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,215 That's awesome. [chuckles] 487 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:12,634 That--oh, my God. Wow. 488 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,302 It's not even real yet. 489 00:18:14,386 --> 00:18:17,472 And I'm not gonna tell her until it's real. 490 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:18,515 [overlapping chatter] 491 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:19,766 - I think maybe there actually 492 00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:22,310 is something I don't know about Jim. 493 00:18:26,898 --> 00:18:28,149 - Go ahead. 494 00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:29,734 - Everyone, we have a voluntary meeting 495 00:18:29,818 --> 00:18:32,946 in the conference room to discuss Erin's confidence. 496 00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:34,656 - Her body. We're gonna talk about her body. 497 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:35,865 Good. Great job. 498 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,701 - Andy made me his consigliere, 499 00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,327 which means assistant regional manager. 500 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:40,829 I guess he thought I'd be into "The Godfather" 501 00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:42,122 because I'm Black. 502 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:45,959 Wrong! 503 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:49,129 I'm into "The Godfather" 'cause I'm a cinephile. 504 00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:51,006 I like "Scarface" 'cause I'm Black. 505 00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:54,467 - Erin has an audition to be a newscaster. 506 00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:56,219 - Wow! - Whoo! 507 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,763 - Uh-huh. - Congratulations! 508 00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:01,683 - And I want her to feel very comfortable 509 00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:03,435 in her very sexy skin, 510 00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:06,646 so everybody say something that you like about her body, 511 00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:07,772 All right? I'll go first. 512 00:19:07,856 --> 00:19:08,940 Darryl. 513 00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:10,608 - I thought you were gonna go first. 514 00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:12,402 - I just went first by calling on you. 515 00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:14,571 - Okay, um... 516 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:15,780 I like Erin's hair. 517 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:16,865 It's a very pretty color. 518 00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,116 - Yeah, right? 519 00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:21,036 Nice shoulders, incredible posture. 520 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:22,162 Look at these hips. 521 00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:24,039 Who likes these hips? Raise your hand. 522 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,124 - I'm sorry. This is for a news audition? 523 00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:27,459 - Yeah. 524 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,419 - Then why are we talking about her looks? 525 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:32,213 Why not her credibility or her reliability? 526 00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:34,424 - They don't exist anymore, Oscar. 527 00:19:34,549 --> 00:19:36,885 Not since Mary Hart left "Entertainment Tonight." 528 00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:39,512 - News flash, everyone-- the human race 529 00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:41,389 finds attractive people more trustworthy. 530 00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:42,932 - So sorry, Andy, but for 20 years, 531 00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:44,559 the most trusted man in America? 532 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:45,643 Walter Cronkite. 533 00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:47,228 - Cronkite was hot. 534 00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:49,397 If I could go back in time, I'd take that moustache ride. 535 00:19:49,481 --> 00:19:51,274 - Does Erin have any experience? 536 00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:53,568 Has she taken any journalism classes, maybe? 537 00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:55,195 - Has she done the pageant circuit? 538 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,906 - No, I watch the news. - She's gonna be amazing. 539 00:19:58,031 --> 00:19:59,783 Look at her. She's gonna light up the screen. 540 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,117 - Does she even want to do it? 541 00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,160 - Of course she wants to do it. 542 00:20:02,285 --> 00:20:03,370 She answers phones. 543 00:20:03,495 --> 00:20:05,288 - Oh, that's not fair, Angela. 544 00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:06,956 Some people don't aspire for anything higher 545 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:08,083 and that's just fine for her. - That's true. 546 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:09,125 - Hey. 547 00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:10,543 - Well, if-- - Hey, over here. 548 00:20:10,669 --> 00:20:11,753 Yes. 549 00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,129 I want to do it. 550 00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:14,714 I really want to do it. 551 00:20:14,798 --> 00:20:16,424 I know that you guys have probably been offered 552 00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:18,885 news anchor jobs every week of your lives, 553 00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:20,679 but this is a first for me, 554 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,013 and I don't get a lot of chances, 555 00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:24,808 so I have to take them really seriously. 556 00:20:24,933 --> 00:20:27,686 I will do whatever it takes to get the job. 557 00:20:27,811 --> 00:20:28,853 - Whatever it takes. 558 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,105 - Yeah, I know, I heard. 559 00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:36,611 [Dwight shouts] 560 00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:43,451 - But I'm really bad at public speaking. 561 00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:44,786 - Don't think of it as public speaking. 562 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,371 Think of it as music. 563 00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:48,081 The news is music. 564 00:20:48,206 --> 00:20:49,666 You sing it. 565 00:20:49,708 --> 00:20:52,168 [Andy babbling indistinctly in newscaster rhythm] 566 00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:54,963 [Erin babbling indistinctly in newscaster rhythm] 567 00:20:55,046 --> 00:20:57,340 [both babbling indistinctly in newscaster rhythm] 568 00:20:57,382 --> 00:20:58,800 - Good, good, good. 569 00:20:58,883 --> 00:20:59,634 [Erin babbling indistinctly in newscaster rhythm] 570 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:00,969 - Good, good. 571 00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:02,095 Okay, now pause and bring it home. 572 00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:03,471 Big finish. 573 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:06,641 [Erin babbling indistinctly in newscaster rhythm] 574 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,226 - Wow. 575 00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:10,020 Thank you for that news. 576 00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:12,814 That was some very important information you just told me. 577 00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:15,525 [Erin scats in newscaster rhythm] 578 00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:16,484 - You're welcome. 579 00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:20,822 [metallic scrape] 580 00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:22,449 - This is it. 581 00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:26,161 Wanna give your hand one last round of applause? 582 00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:27,162 Any questions? 583 00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:28,496 - Is it gonna be long? 584 00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,874 - No, it's gonna be over before you know it. 585 00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:32,459 - Mm-hmm. 586 00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:38,590 - Afghan president Hamid Karzai declared a new policy 587 00:21:38,673 --> 00:21:40,383 of Dollar Days throughout the country, 588 00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:42,594 promising low, low prices 589 00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:46,348 on all 2012 Kia Sentras and Sonatas. 590 00:21:46,389 --> 00:21:48,767 "Aren't you glad you waited?" Karzai commented. 591 00:21:48,850 --> 00:21:52,145 - Um, where did you get that story? 592 00:21:52,228 --> 00:21:54,064 - A little bit here, a little bit there. 593 00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:56,608 I bet you didn't think I knew current events. 594 00:21:56,691 --> 00:21:58,443 - I love it. It's fantastic. 595 00:21:58,568 --> 00:21:59,736 Now tag it with your name. 596 00:21:59,861 --> 00:22:01,696 - [sighs] 597 00:22:01,780 --> 00:22:03,114 For Channel 11 news, I'm Erin Hannon. 598 00:22:03,239 --> 00:22:06,284 - Pause after news. 599 00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:08,078 - For Channel 11 news... 600 00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:09,079 I'm Erin Hannon. 601 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:10,205 - No, pause longer. 602 00:22:10,288 --> 00:22:11,456 - That was a good one. 603 00:22:11,498 --> 00:22:12,999 - Pause--pause--pause longer. 604 00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:14,459 Okay? Build suspense. 605 00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:16,211 Don't be shy. - Got it. [clears throat] 606 00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:20,215 For Channel 11 news... 607 00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:29,974 - What, it's-- 608 00:22:30,058 --> 00:22:31,893 - I'm Erin Hannon. - Okay, all right. 609 00:22:32,018 --> 00:22:33,645 Great. 610 00:22:33,770 --> 00:22:35,730 Some great stuff in there. 611 00:22:35,814 --> 00:22:37,691 - So she's coming over at 11 612 00:22:37,774 --> 00:22:40,443 because I told her it's for the 11:00 news. 613 00:22:40,568 --> 00:22:41,986 I mean, you think I can get her in the shower 614 00:22:42,070 --> 00:22:44,406 for reporting in the rain? [chuckles] 615 00:22:44,489 --> 00:22:45,949 [Clark laughs] 616 00:22:45,990 --> 00:22:48,493 Oh, come on. I'm kidding. 617 00:22:48,618 --> 00:22:50,578 - I don't know. [inhales deeply] 618 00:22:50,704 --> 00:22:52,038 I don't know. 619 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:52,997 I feel like you would also say you're kidding 620 00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:55,083 when you're most not kidding. 621 00:22:55,208 --> 00:22:57,919 - Yeah, sometimes I don't know myself. 622 00:22:58,044 --> 00:22:58,920 - Right. 623 00:23:01,423 --> 00:23:02,799 - I can feel you looking at me. 624 00:23:02,924 --> 00:23:05,802 - Okay, well here's something you don't know. 625 00:23:05,927 --> 00:23:07,345 [Pam takes deep breath] 626 00:23:07,470 --> 00:23:09,472 A couple of weeks ago... - Mm-hmm. 627 00:23:09,556 --> 00:23:11,558 - I ran into this guy from my high school 628 00:23:11,683 --> 00:23:13,977 who has just gotten divorced. 629 00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:15,979 And he hit on me in the mall. 630 00:23:16,104 --> 00:23:18,273 And I didn't tell you because-- 631 00:23:18,356 --> 00:23:19,816 I don't know, I felt embarrassed 632 00:23:19,941 --> 00:23:22,736 and I didn't know if you'd be mad or worried. 633 00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:24,404 But anyway, I thought you'd wanna know. 634 00:23:26,740 --> 00:23:28,783 - That didn't happen. 635 00:23:28,867 --> 00:23:30,285 You would've told me right away. 636 00:23:30,368 --> 00:23:31,828 - Yeah, I would've. - [chuckles] 637 00:23:31,953 --> 00:23:33,621 - What about you? 638 00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:35,915 Come on, there's gotta be something. 639 00:23:36,041 --> 00:23:38,877 Between your birth and the last two days, 640 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:40,378 something you just haven't had the chance to tell me. 641 00:23:40,462 --> 00:23:42,297 - Uh... 642 00:23:44,799 --> 00:23:45,967 - Just tell me. 643 00:23:49,012 --> 00:23:51,389 - God, give it up, Beesly. You know me too well. 644 00:23:55,477 --> 00:23:56,603 [Dwight grunts] 645 00:23:57,312 --> 00:23:58,646 [Dwight grunts] 646 00:24:05,153 --> 00:24:07,489 [Dwight grunts] 647 00:24:11,618 --> 00:24:12,994 - Hey. 648 00:24:15,330 --> 00:24:16,956 You okay? 649 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,709 - Yeah, I'm fine. Good. 650 00:24:19,751 --> 00:24:21,252 - [chuckling] Yeah? 651 00:24:21,378 --> 00:24:24,339 - Oh, it's nothing. I just-- allergies. 652 00:24:26,591 --> 00:24:30,512 - Pam has allergies. 653 00:24:30,553 --> 00:24:34,182 That's something I did not know about her. 654 00:24:34,307 --> 00:24:35,725 [sighs softly] 655 00:24:35,850 --> 00:24:36,935 - Hey. - Hmm? 656 00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:39,437 - Um, I knew something bothered me, 657 00:24:39,521 --> 00:24:41,064 and I finally figured it out. 658 00:24:41,189 --> 00:24:43,483 What news producers are gonna wanna see is how Erin relates 659 00:24:43,525 --> 00:24:45,026 to the other people on the news team. 660 00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:46,569 - Oh. 661 00:24:46,695 --> 00:24:48,988 - The weird thing is Erin is doing the audition alone. 662 00:24:49,072 --> 00:24:50,198 - Oh, God. 663 00:24:50,323 --> 00:24:52,992 - Now, I'd say Clark could be your co-host. 664 00:24:53,034 --> 00:24:54,744 He's already doing camera. - [scoffs] 665 00:24:54,869 --> 00:24:57,872 - Somebody who's already got rapport with Erin, maybe. 666 00:24:57,997 --> 00:24:59,249 I don't know. 667 00:24:59,374 --> 00:25:00,709 [Dwight grunts] 668 00:25:01,501 --> 00:25:02,752 - Hey, this is for real this time. 669 00:25:02,877 --> 00:25:03,753 - Mm-hmm. 670 00:25:03,878 --> 00:25:05,046 [Dwight grunts] 671 00:25:05,130 --> 00:25:06,381 - It's gettin' late. 672 00:25:06,423 --> 00:25:09,175 Thought you guys could use a little inspiration. 673 00:25:10,343 --> 00:25:11,219 [Fox fanfare playing] 674 00:25:11,344 --> 00:25:12,929 - Oh, a movie. 675 00:25:13,054 --> 00:25:14,848 What is this? - "127 Hours." 676 00:25:14,973 --> 00:25:16,433 It's about this guy who-- - No, no, no, no. 677 00:25:16,474 --> 00:25:17,767 No spoilers. Please. 678 00:25:17,809 --> 00:25:18,810 - My bad, my bad-- - No. 679 00:25:18,852 --> 00:25:20,603 - You're right, okay. 680 00:25:20,687 --> 00:25:22,355 Good night. [Nellie sighs] 681 00:25:23,398 --> 00:25:26,234 - For the record, I like knowing everything about you. 682 00:25:26,317 --> 00:25:28,153 It's nice. - Totally agree. 683 00:25:28,278 --> 00:25:30,238 We know each other inside and out. 684 00:25:30,363 --> 00:25:31,406 No surprises. 685 00:25:34,576 --> 00:25:37,537 [phone buzzing] 686 00:25:43,835 --> 00:25:45,420 - We got the funding. 687 00:25:45,545 --> 00:25:47,756 So... 688 00:25:47,839 --> 00:25:49,549 now--now it's real. 689 00:25:51,092 --> 00:25:53,303 [knock on door] 690 00:25:53,345 --> 00:25:55,347 - Hey! - [chuckling] Hey. 691 00:25:55,388 --> 00:25:58,391 - Everybody. - Yeah. 692 00:25:58,475 --> 00:25:59,517 - Come in. - All right. 693 00:25:59,601 --> 00:26:00,685 - Come on in. - [gasps] Wow! 694 00:26:00,769 --> 00:26:03,104 - Thanks. What are you doing here? 695 00:26:03,188 --> 00:26:04,898 - [sighs] Sorry, man. 696 00:26:05,023 --> 00:26:07,359 Andy thought Erin need a co-anchor. 697 00:26:07,442 --> 00:26:09,778 I'm his makeup guy. My hands are tied. 698 00:26:09,819 --> 00:26:10,904 - [groans] 699 00:26:11,029 --> 00:26:12,864 - The victim was released from the hospital 700 00:26:12,906 --> 00:26:14,616 with second-degree burns. 701 00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:17,035 - Wow. You know what they say, Erin 702 00:26:17,118 --> 00:26:19,621 If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. 703 00:26:21,706 --> 00:26:23,458 - Well, he tried to, but the fire door was blocked. 704 00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:25,377 - He sure did. [chuckles] - All right. 705 00:26:25,460 --> 00:26:26,920 We got that. That's a rap everybody. 706 00:26:27,003 --> 00:26:28,380 - [sighs] - It's just--you sure, Clark? 707 00:26:28,505 --> 00:26:29,839 - Yep, she's done. 708 00:26:29,881 --> 00:26:31,508 - No, I just-- I don't mean Erin. 709 00:26:31,591 --> 00:26:35,053 I mean for me. I didn't feel good about that. 710 00:26:35,136 --> 00:26:36,763 - No, no, we got it. We got it. 711 00:26:36,805 --> 00:26:39,057 - Great! Let's get some food. I'm starving. 712 00:26:39,182 --> 00:26:41,017 - I don't think we did get it. 713 00:26:41,101 --> 00:26:44,229 I could do a couple more takes. We could do it in close-up. 714 00:26:44,312 --> 00:26:47,190 That might even be better for editing. 715 00:26:47,232 --> 00:26:49,025 - Okay, I don't. 716 00:26:49,067 --> 00:26:50,485 - All right. 717 00:26:50,610 --> 00:26:52,445 - I'm hungry. 718 00:26:52,529 --> 00:26:55,949 - Uh, Pete, you wanna take Erin to get a burger or something? 719 00:26:56,032 --> 00:26:58,076 - Yeah, whatever you say, boss. - Okay. 720 00:26:58,159 --> 00:26:59,244 I'll call you later. - Okay. 721 00:26:59,285 --> 00:27:00,412 - Okay. - Great job. 722 00:27:00,495 --> 00:27:02,914 - [clears throat] So this is a single. 723 00:27:02,997 --> 00:27:04,416 - Hey, even this doesn't work out for me, 724 00:27:04,499 --> 00:27:06,918 I'm just glad I had the guts to do it. 725 00:27:07,002 --> 00:27:09,462 And maybe it'll work out for Andy. 726 00:27:17,679 --> 00:27:19,014 - Oh, that is absolutely revolting! 727 00:27:19,139 --> 00:27:21,182 - Oh, yeah. - He is so good, though. 728 00:27:21,307 --> 00:27:22,350 - Yes. 729 00:27:22,434 --> 00:27:24,686 - The way he just cuts off his arm. 730 00:27:24,811 --> 00:27:26,229 - If you like James Franco, we really should watch 731 00:27:26,312 --> 00:27:27,814 "Rise of the Planet of the Apes." 732 00:27:27,856 --> 00:27:29,774 - Well, he's a genius, you know? 733 00:27:29,858 --> 00:27:32,861 He was in graduate programs at Yale, Columbia and NYU 734 00:27:32,902 --> 00:27:34,320 all at the same time. - Whoop-de-doo. 735 00:27:34,404 --> 00:27:35,530 That doesn't make you a genius. 736 00:27:35,697 --> 00:27:37,115 - Well, it doesn't make you stupid. 737 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:38,158 - Oh, yeah, it does. 738 00:27:38,283 --> 00:27:39,701 Actually, it makes you real stupid. 739 00:27:39,868 --> 00:27:41,453 - Oh, stupid like you. - No, like you. 740 00:27:41,494 --> 00:27:43,204 - Like you. - You're the stupid one. 741 00:27:43,288 --> 00:27:44,706 both: you're the stupid one. 742 00:27:44,789 --> 00:27:46,708 - You, you, you, you, you-- - You're the stupid one. 743 00:27:46,758 --> 00:27:51,308 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0